Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
