sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
