we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
