She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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