I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
