i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
