Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
