WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize