Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
