She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize