hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
