I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
