problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
