I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
