True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
