is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
