i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
