im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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