Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
