Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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