He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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