She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
