I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
