S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I still have a little drunk in my system
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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