Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
