Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
