Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
That's when you crack a 10am beer
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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