I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
