Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
