She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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