I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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