To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize