He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Your penis caused this!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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