based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
