New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
