he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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