You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Soap is not a condiment
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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