So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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