This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
