are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
