just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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