I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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