i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
