i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
