so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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