My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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