u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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