4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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