JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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