i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
