Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
