Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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