He is such a slut. More and more my type.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
