we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize