your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
