you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I have aggressive nipples.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize