we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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