guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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