Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
