This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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