maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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