so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
