I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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